An Ongoing Effort...

Almost two months ago, I was really having a hard time figuring out what I wanted to do with my weight loss / exercise efforts. At that time, I wrote what I thought might be the first entry to a new blog (at the bottom of this entry). However, for a long time I didn’t want to share what I wrote because I was still struggling to come up with the answers.

I followed the plan I imagined -- reduced cardio and increased strength training -- the results have been positive. (YES Chickadee, I have been eating properly -- for the most part.) My weight has been very stable and I am pleased with my progress. (Right now, I’m rotating two strength days and then a cardio day. Initially I thought I would try to gain a pound a week -- "bulk up" through the autumn / winter months and then begin a "cut". My body doesn’t seem to be responding to that plan even though I have followed a "food as fuel" approach.

My Schedule:
Day 1 (Shoulders, Abs, Legs)
Day 2 (Chest, Back, Arms)
Day 3 (30 minute walk @ 4 mph)

I hope to stick with this plan through the end of February (until after my birthday). I’m at 190 today and would like to get to 200 by then (lean tissue gain!). One thing is for sure -- my body is not a machine and does what it wants, regardless of my plan. Starting in March, I will resume running and fat loss with the goal of getting to 173 and running my first 5K of the "season" in late April.

So enough of that drama....

September 16, 2008

Since the middle of January, I've been working really hard to loose weight. My initial goal was to just get healthier. I knew my blood pressure was high and pretty sure my cholestorol levels were out of wack. So besides not feeling good about the way I looked, I knew it was time to do something about my health.

So here it is the middle of September and I am 70 lbs lighter and in pretty decent shape. But, I'm not at all satisfied. I really feel stupid writing this because I realize that my dilemma is being blown out of proportion to the things that I've already accomplished. But any way, here's my quandary.

More facts: I'm currently up 8 lbs from my low weight of 185. I'm proud to say that I've been running since May, and with the nudging of my sister, I ran my first 5k (since 1999) in June. Since then, Julie and I have ran four other 5ks and our times continue to improve. I've been using a training schedule that I got from http://www.runnersworld.com/ since the first of July. Meanwhile, I've also been lifting weights and, all the while, still trying to loose weight.

So, here's my problem. My interest in building muscle has increased in the last month. I believe that in the long run, I will be better off adding lean mass to my body. However, everything I read about adding muscle says it's impossible to increase muscle mass while attempting to loose fat. Hence, bodybuilders have their bulking and cutting phases. I also have read that limiting cardio is necessary as well.

Last week, my running schedule was the toughest yet. I ran an 11 mile long run and 27 miles total. So, I have in my mind that I'm going to have to sacrifice something in order to accomplish either goal. Oh...what is my goal? Well, I've have three goals (in this arena). But I'm not fully committed in any of them. My goal weight was 173 lbs. My running goal -- short term, beat my best 5k time from 1999 (25:40), long term -- win my age group. The last one is harder to define: gain muscle mass (I don't know how much, how I would want to look, how much I would want to bench, ect.).

I discussed this with Julie, and she said the most sensible thing, to have balance in all these areas. Yesterday morning, I woke up thinking about all this and prayed about it, but I still can't figure out what to do. I just believe that if I have a leaner body, it will help me keep the weight off long term, whereas, the heavy cardo burns the calories and helps to continue the weight loss. But, from what I've read, cardio does little the raise your Basal Metabolic Rate, the rate at which you burn calories while at complete rest.

Yesterday morning, my decision was to decrease the cardio. I didn't do my 11 mile long run yesterday --just did 3 miles. But today I found myself feeling like I'd really just used all this as an excuse not to get out there and push it hard. Then I started trying to map out a plan to "make up" for the 11 miler and get back on track.

I kinda think I would be satisfied with returning to my low weight of 185lbs and taking a balance approach (meaning I don't necessary train to "win" a 5k) to the exercise. I'm just weary of the struggle and tired of feeling deprived of food. Gaining the 8lbs makes me fearful of gaining more and more. I've been up and down at least five "major" times.

All the while, in the back of my mind I think, "people in the world are starving and I'm being dramatic about eating too much. How utterly stupid!"

So, how do I proceed?